


Well Worn Paperbacks

by princehuangss



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Book Club AU, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, M/M, but the enemies part is completely one sided, implied anxiety and adhd, literature references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29297478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princehuangss/pseuds/princehuangss
Summary: Renjun just wanted to start a book club, but somehow he got stuck with Lee Jeno instead.or;an idiots tale of the first year of college, starting a club, learning to trust, and a whole lot of book references.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 19
Kudos: 89
Collections: Love Dream 2020





	Well Worn Paperbacks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [halfmoonjisung](https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfmoonjisung/gifts).



> to elle, i hope you enjoy the fic!! i'm not sure if it's entirely what you were looking for (i got an idea and just kind of ran with it haha) but i hope it's satisfactory nonetheless!
> 
> i had so much fun writing this as an avid book nerd myself, so thanks so much for the great prompt :]  
> (also i might have projected a lot onto renjun but when do i not?? lol)

The club fair took place on a sunny afternoon in late September. Hundreds of tables were set up across the quad showing various states of decor, from the Theater table— which was actually two tables shoved together, covered in dioramas of different productions and even holding a karaoke mic through which an upperclassman was shouting at terrified freshman— all the way down to the Anime Club table, which was actually just a large cardboard box placed upside down.

Everyone was out looking at clubs, walking up and down the rows at easy paces, taking their time to chat with friends, new and old.

Not Renjun. He was on a mission.

“Seriously Jun,” whined his friend Donghyuck, “What’s the rush? You’re acting like your pants are caught on fire.”

Renjun met Donghyuck at the open house in June. Donghyuck had complimented his ‘Save The Bees’ shirt, and although at first Renjun’s pathetically shy self had mumbled only an awkward ‘Thanks’, Donghyuck had broken him down in a matter of no time with his obnoxiously social personality and his endless conversation starters. They had agreed to put each other down as preferred roommates, and Renjun was now Donghyuck's self proclaimed Best Friend.

”This is a serious issue!” Renjun fired back, indignant. “It’s ridiculous that this massive institution with hundreds of other clubs doesn’t have a  _ book club _ when my tiny high school of maybe four hundred people  _ did _ .”

Donghyuck frowned. “Weren’t you the one who started it, though?”

“ _ Not _ the point.”

“Maybe they thought it was, I don’t know, an old lady thing?”

Renjun rounded on Donghyuck. “How  _ dare you _ , first of all. You know, it’s a real problem. Our generation just doesn’t read books like—”

Donghyuck holds his hands up in surrender. “Okay Grandpa, I’m sorry, just  _ please _ do not start this speech again.”

They finally reached the end of the last row of tables, and Renjun sighed. They had passed by the British Literature Club, the Poetry Club, and even a  _ John Steinbeck Appreciation Club,  _ but no simple club where people can read and discuss books as a group.

Renjun had just about lost faith in higher education.

He rubbed a hand forlornly down his face, and Donghyuck patted his shoulder in an attempt at consolation. “You know what? The British Literature Club actually sounds pretty good. They probably read books there. You like Agatha Christie, don’t you?”

“That’s only one category. Don’t you know how broad the world of literature is?”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Jun.” Donghyuck took Renjun’s hand, tugging him back in the direction of the Amnesty International table. He’d already made friends with one of the members, a junior girl who waved at them wildly, the motion causing her strawberry-shaped earrings to wobble back and forth. “I don’t know, you could always start a book club. Like you did at your high school.”

Yes, there was always that option. Naturally, Renjun had already considered it— but forming a club in college involved jumping through so many more hoops. In high school, all you had to do to form a club was ask the vice principal for approval. Their vice principal was a woman who was fed up with her job, so she always ended up approving clubs without asking many questions. A boy in the grade above Renjun had formed an “Adult Film” club, and it ended up making it a whole three months before it was shut down.

In college, clubs were taken much more seriously. There were forms you had to fill out; you had to have a faculty member agree to be the club’s official advisor. You had to have to have eight members and a full board of elected officials. All in all, it sounded like way too much work for Renjun to take on by himself in his first semester of college.

_ Unless… _

“Would you do it with me?” Renjun clung onto Donghyuck’s arm, putting on his best puppy dog eyes. He found them to be effective about 99.5% of the time. “Pleeease?”

Donghyuck sighed. His eyes flitted back and forth between Renjun and the Amnesty International table, his lower lip caught between his teeth. “I don’t know Renjun… I’ve already committed to a lot of clubs, and my major is gonna keep me really busy…”

Renjun’s shoulders fell. He had expected as much— it was only a few weeks into the semester and Donghyuck had already overcommitted himself— yet he couldn’t help the feeling of disappointment. Donghyuck was the only person he really knew here so far; combining his anxiety about meeting new people and his rigorous studying habits, he hadn’t much opportunity to socialize. 

Donghyuck sighed again, looking extremely guilty. He lets his eyes wander around the labyrinth of club tables as if looking for ideas. Donghyuck suddenly let out a loud gasp, startling Renjun.

“I think I know someone who can help you!” Donghyuck exclaimed.

Renjun felt a flicker of hope in his chest. “Really? Who?”

“His name is Jeno. He’s a History major, so he has a lot of the same classes as my Poli Sci major. He’s really nice, and he loves to read!”

Renjun wondered what this Jeno person was like. He really hoped he wasn’t one of the World War II obsessed History majors— Renjun had had more than his fair share of those boys in his high school AP Gov class.

Since he was a History major, he’d probably prefer to read the classics. Renjun wondered if his favorite books were things like  _ The Catcher in the Rye  _ or  _ The Grapes of Wrath.  _ Renjun wrinkled his nose.

“Alright,” Renjun sighed, “Thank you, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck smiled at him sympathetically. “No problem. Sorry I couldn’t help you myself.”

They finally reached the Amnesty International table, and Donghyuck’s junior friend stood up from her folded chair. She smiled at him, and thanked him multiple times before picking up her eco-friendly water bottle and walking away. It was as Donghyuck took a seat in the abandoned chair that Renjun remembered why they were there in the first place. Donghyuck had promised to take a shift at the table, which Renjun had thought was kind of strange given that he was trying to promote to freshman when he himself was still one.

“Are you going to go check out any other clubs?” Donghyuck asked.

Renjun shrugged. “I think I’ll just stay here with you. None of the others really caught my eye.”

“Are you  _ sure _ ?”

Renjun nodded.

Donghyuck rolled his eyes and smiled. He reclined back in his chair, putting his arms behind his head. “Well, can you at least make yourself useful and fetch me a flyer for the Debate Club? That looked really interesting.”

*

Renjun didn’t ponder much more on his book club or Donghyuck’s friend Jeno in the following week. He was busy with his first group project assignment, from his Shakespeare class. The assignment was to prepare a dramatic reenactment of one important scene from a Shakespeare Play ( _ It’ll be fun,  _ the teacher said,  _ It’s the beginning of the year, enjoy yourselves! _ ).

Renjun’s group had chosen the banquet scene from Macbeth. One of the boys with a theatre major had taken control of their group, assigning himself the role of Macbeth, leaving pretty much everyone else to be the ensemble of Scottish lords. Renjun had wanted to object to the boy’s dictatorship, but he did not possess the bravery or nearly enough fucks to give, so he kept silent.

Donghyuck came to pick him up from the study room his group had booked on Saturday afternoon. Renjun had almost forgotten that he had agreed to meet up with Donghyuck and his friend Jeno at the campus coffee house today.

When Renjun was the last one to wander out of the room, face haggard and bag haphazardly slung off one shoulder, Donghyuck snorted. “Tough meeting?”

Renjun groaned. “God, Hyuck. You have  _ no  _ idea. I just spent three hours watching a theater kid do improv. The amount of classes that we have to share with them is inhumane.” The only one in their group who had had the courage to tell the kid to shut up was, to no one’s surprise, the girl playing Lady Macbeth.

“I thought you liked Shakespeare,” Donghyuck teased. He pushed the door to the Humanities Building, graciously holding it open for Renjun.

“I have a respect for his works and the impact he’s had on the English language. Did you know that he was the first person to use the word ‘swagger’?”

“Really.”

Renjun spent the rest of their walk to the campus coffee house educating Donghyuck on Shakespearean vocabulary. He was so immersed in explaining how Shakespeare was the first person to use elbow as a verb that he didn’t even notice the bell jingling as Donghyuck pushed the cafe door open, or the word of greeting that Donghyuck shouted to a boy sitting in the corner.

“Jeno, hey!” Donghyuck spoke, grinning. Renjun finally tore his eyes away from Donghyuck to take in the person they had come to see.

_ He has a nice smile,  _ was the first thing that flitted across Renjun’s mind, until he forced himself to his senses. No, he couldn’t become smitten with a boy he had only just laid eyes on. Looking him up and down now, taking in a hoodie from some soccer club and tattered running sneakers, he was definitely a jock. Renjun didn’t associate with jocks.

Jeno offered him a friendly wave. Renjun, caught off guard, made a strange, jerky motion with his hand in return. Donghyuck snickered at him and shoved him into the booth across Jeno.

“Jeno, this is Renjun.” Donghyuck gestured to Renjun. “Renjun, this is Jeno.”

“Do you play sports?” Renjun blurted. Donghyuck stared at him as if saying,  _ what the fuck are you doing?  _

Jeno, thankfully, took it in stride, only looking mildly confused. “Technically, no? I’m in the university’s dance club, if that counts.”

Renjun nodded thoughtfully. So he was a dancer; that was unexpected. Renjun had to give him some points, given his own background in ballet.

Donghyuck cleared his throat. “Renjun’s an English major, and he really wants to start a book club. I thought that since you like to read too that you could help him out.”

“Let me guess, you’re too overcommitted to do it yourself?”

The tone Jeno spoke in was more playful than anything, but Renjun couldn’t help the spike of disdain he felt. Maybe he was too sensitive, but Jeno’s words made him feel like a bothersome child being tossed back and forth between tired parents.

Renjun stuck his nose up. “If you’re too busy, it’s fine. I’m perfectly capable of starting a club by myself.”

“No, I’m not too busy,” Jeno amended, “I’d be happy to help you start your club.”

Renjun only nodded. He was still feeling a little defensive, so he pushed himself to his feet. “Donghyuck, do you want anything?”

“Huh?”

“Coffee? Donut?” He jutted a thumb towards the front counter. “We’re in a coffee shop.”

“Oh.” Donghyuck’s eyes were round, flitting towards the menu at the front of the shop. “Umm, just get me a medium iced chai?”

Renjun pushed awkwardly past Donghyuck and towards the front counter. He placed his order, saying Donghyuck’s and then his own (a hot chocolate and an apple fritter) before stepping off to the side to wait. He glanced back at their table and his stomach stirred at the sight of Donghyuck and Jeno having a lively conversation. Jeno laughed loudly at something Donghyuck said, eyes squeezing shut and head thrown back, and Renjun looked down at his hands.

Why did he always have to be awkward and mess things up whenever he met someone new? Renjun twisted his rings around and around his middle finger. He wasn’t sure why his natural instinct had been to distrust Jeno, but he probably looked like an asshole now.

Did Jeno even notice his awkwardness? Should he apologize? Or should he just cover his pride with aloofness like he always does?

He walked back to their table a few minutes later with the two drinks in hand and a controlled expression on his face.

Jeno glanced up at his arrival. “What’d you get?”

“Hot chocolate.”

Jeno snorted. “Hot chocolate?”

Renjun glared at him. Okay, maybe he could justify being a bit of a bitch.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with that. It’s four in the afternoon, I don’t need to be up all night on caffeine.”

“That’s fair,” Jeno responded.

“What’d  _ you _ get?”

“Black coffee. Extra shot of espresso.” Jeno held up the styrofoam cup and gave it a swirl. Renjun had to hold back a scowl. This man had the audacity to laugh at Renjun’s hot chocolate when he drank battery acid for fun?

Donghyuck jutted in. “How about you two just exchange numbers, okay? So you can discuss the club?” The poor boy was looking more and more stressed with every passing minute.

Renjun begrudgingly agreed and he and Jeno exchanged phones. He raised an eyebrow at the default home screen image and lack of phone case, but he said nothing.

They finally split ways with Jeno after a half hour of him and Donghyuck catching up, and Renjun awkwardly scooping lumps of whipped cream out of his cup with the end of his straw. 

Outside of the shop, Donghyuck said goodbye with all the enthusiasm of a golden retriever. His smile didn’t waver until Jeno had rounded the corner, and he rounded on Renjun.

“What was that?!”

“He looked like a jock,  _ and  _ he made fun of my hot chocolate!”

Donghyuck scrubbed a hand across his face and sighed. “Okay, first of all he wasn’t making fun of your hot chocolate. I’m pretty sure it was playful teasing at most, which, need I remind you, we do  _ all the time. _ ” Donghyuck glanced over at him. “And not all jocks are bad, you know.”

Okay, so maybe Renjun had overreacted a little. Sometimes he couldn’t help it, though; not when kids who looked just like Jeno had made Renjun’s high school an actual living hell.

Renjun huffed stubbornly. “I’ll try to be nicer next time. But until I know for sure that I can trust him, I can’t promise any miracles.”

Donghyuck rolled his eyes, but a smile still made its way onto his face. “You weren’t this relentless with me.”

“You’re different. I live with you, I had no choice.”

“What I’m hearing is I’m special and you love me,” Donghyuck crooned, slinging his arms around Renjun’s neck.

“Ack! Get  _ off! _ ”

“Not until you promise to put forth a good and valiant effort into getting to know Jeno.”

“Ugh, fine. It’s not like there’s anyone else that’ll help me anyways.”

“That’s the spirit!” Donghyuck detached from Renjun just as they arrived at their residence hall. They trudged up the flight of stairs and unlocked the door to their double. With a flick of a switch, their room was bathed in light; Donghyuck’s spelling bee trophies adorned his desk, and Renjun’s crates of books that he had insisted on bringing with him to college (his parents had protested, but Renjun had insisted that like stuffed animals, they brought him comfort), and their giant Red Velvet poster that was taped to the wall directly between both of their beds. The girl group was a shared interest that they had bonded over since the beginning of term. They had even made a pact to go to a concert together should the group ever tour in North America again.

“Has he texted you yet?” Donghyuck asked.

Renjun frowned down at his phone. The screen lit up, displaying no new notifications.

“Not yet,” he replied, and plugged it in by his bed to charge.

It wasn’t until later, after they had both gotten ready for bed and were tucked beneath their covers— Donghyuck scrolling through tiktok and Renjun with his tattered copy of  _ Carry On  _ propped open against his chest— did Renjun’s phone chime with a new alert.

_ hey!! is this renjun??  _ Read the message, from an unknown sender. Renjun tapped the notification and composed a response.

**[Me]:** Yes, is this Jeno?

Three dots popped up immediately, signalling an incoming response.

**[Unknown Sender]:** yup!!! so when do u wanna meet up to discuss the club??

Renjun raised an eyebrow. For someone who claimed to love books, Jeno sure was lacking in the grammar and punctuation department. All the extra exclamation points made it seem like Jeno had just received the best news of his entire life, not arranging a time to meet up.

**[Me]:** Maybe tomorrow @ noon? I’m free all day, basically. How about one of the study rooms at the library?

**[Jeno -_-]:** i’ll reserve one of the ones with the couches :D

**[Me]:** Ok, see you tomorrow.

Renjun locked his phone and with a sigh, turned over in bed to face the wall. He might as well go to bed now; he’d need all the energy he could get tomorrow.

*

Renjun woke up to an empty dorm room the next morning, a text from Donghyuck waiting on his phone that read,  _ “I’ve gone to a student council meeting, and will be busy until this evening at the writing center. Good luck w/ Jeno today!!” _

Renjun sighed. That boy was going to burn himself out before the first semester was even over. Nonetheless, he got out of bed and got dressed. The temperature had dipped a bit during the night, so he slipped on his favorite yellow sweater for the first time that season. Once paired with some jeans and a classy pair of leather combat boots, Renjun looked undoubtedly too good for Jeno’s presence alone.

Oh well; Renjun always preached that success was a product of the mind. If he went into this thing with a positive attitude, then maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. Renjun had a tendency to be a bit over dramatic when put in an unfamiliar situation.

It couldn’t be that bad, right?

Renjun slipped out the door with his book bag. The first few leaves were spiraling towards the sidewalk, and the crisp autumn hair took his breath away in the most lovely way. Things couldn’t go too badly on a day like this.

When he pushed open the library study room door, iced coffee in hand, to find Jeno and three of his frat dude friends throwing crumpled paper basketball-style into the garbage bin, Renjun hoped it wasn’t too late to take back that statement.

A boy he didn’t recognize scored a shot, whooping loudly. Jeno, who was lounging on one of the couches against the far wall, laughed indulgently. None of them had noticed Renjun yet.

Renjun stood there for a couple seconds, slack-jawed at the blatant disrespect towards a space of learning. He finally worked up the nerve to clear his throat, schooling his expression into something stern and disapproving. Donghyuck had taken to calling it his “PTO Mom Stare”.

Jeno’s head shot up to meet his gaze, and much to Renjun’s dismay, he didn’t even look a little guilty. He only smiled that dreamy eye smile of his and said, “Hey, Renjun, you’re here! Do you mind if my friends chill while we work?”

Renjun didn’t say anything for a few seconds, squinting at Jeno incredulously as if to say, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I don’t know,” Renjun spoke through gritted teeth, “Are they going to be quiet?”

“Of course! You guys will keep it down a little, right?”

One of the other frat dudes, the one that was— for whatever reason— standing on a chair, smirked at Renjun. “Don’t worry little dude, we won’t interrupt your very important meeting. Just don’t keep Jeno too long.” He finished off with a wink.

That slimy little asshole. The absolute  _ audacity.  _ Renjun could feel himself physically age five years.

As much as Renjun had opinions on guys like these, he also had crippling social anxiety and hated confrontation, so he only rolled his eyes before taking a seat at one of the room’s tables. He knew that Jeno had specifically reserved this room so he could sit on the couches, but if Jeno was going to push boundaries by inviting his loud friends, then Renjun was going to push right back. 

Renjun pulled a stack of papers from his book bag, as well as his laptop. As he was opening his email, he slid a few papers over to Jeno wordlessly.

“Most of what we have to do is paperwork,” Renjun explained, not taking his eyes off his laptop screen. “You can get started on those, while I start emailing professors to see if we can get an advisor.”

“Hey, shouldn’t I be helping you find an advisor? I know lots of professors who would love to help.” Jeno shuffled in his seat. “All my professors love me, you know.”

“Sure they do,” Renjun said skeptically, “Well if I need anything, I’ll ask you. But it’d be great if you just filled out those papers. I need them done as soon as possible.”

Renjun could feel Jeno’s eyes boring into the side of his head for one, two painful seconds before the boy shrugged and pulled a ballpoint pen out of his own backpack.

It was silent for the next half hour, save for the muted laughter of Jeno’s friends who were still going at their game of Recycling Bin Basketball. Renjun was a little shocked at how diligently Jeno chipped away at his paperwork; by the time Renjun had sent out an email to three faculty members and a group of fellow english majors (a.k.a potential club members), Jeno was all finished.

“What should I do with all of these?” Jeno asked as he tapped the forms on the surface of the table to straighten them.

“Bring them in to the student life offices whenever you have a chance,” Renjun responded as he slid his laptop back into his book bag, “Once we have an advisor, we’ll focus on recruiting club members. That’ll be a lot of work.”

Jeno eye-smiled again, making Renjun scowl. “I’ll be ready, then.”

*

Two days later, Renjun was sitting in his Creative Writing class. He was positively squirming in his seat, turning his head towards the clock at the front of the lecture hall every few seconds, watching as the seconds ticked by.

On any normal day, Creative Writing was Renjun’s favorite class. He wanted to be an author someday, so the subject was of great interest to him, and the professor really seemed to like him. Today, however, Renjun couldn’t wait for the hour to be up. He was planning on staying after to talk to his professor.

The two other teachers he had emailed about being advisors for the book club had since responded saying they were too busy, but Renjun had faith in this man. He hadn’t responded yet, which Renjun was hoping was because he was old and sometimes forgot how emails worked. Just last week, he had emailed the entire class a link to his grandson’s facebook page instead of the article that he had promised, so Renjun considered this a plausible explanation.

Either way, Renjun was going to talk to him after class and if he had any hesitations at all, Renjun would ward them away with his irrefusable powers of persuasion.

“That’s it for today,” the professor’s voice echoed through the room, jerking Renjun’s attention back to the present, “If anyone has any questions, I’ll be around for a few minutes after class, and as always, my office hours are tomorrow from 1 to 2 pm.”

The other students in the class began packing up their bags, which sent Renjun into a mad hurry to shove his own books away. He took his time meandering down the steps to the front, tapping his foot impatiently as the other students took their sweet time leaving. Finally, when the classroom was virtually empty, Renjun hurried up to his professor.

“Renjun! What can I do for you?” The older man clapped his hands together and smiled warmly. 

_ This man is so nice, he’d never be able to turn me down,  _ Renjun thought. 

“Well,” Renjun began, tying and untying knots in the string of his hoodie, “I’m not sure if you caught my email, but I was wondering if you’d be able to be the advisor for my new book club! It wouldn’t be much work; it’s more of a formality, really.”

His professor sucked in a big breath, and his bushy eyebrows furrowed as he stroked his beard. Not a good sign.

“I’m really sorry Renjun,” he began, “But I’m already advising a couple other clubs, and I’m technically already breaking the rules by advising for more than one.” The man huffed a laugh to himself. 

Renjun’s hands began to sweat. “Are you sure? There’s no way?”

“I really wish I could. You’re wonderful in class, and I’m sure your club will be amazing. I just don’t want to get in trouble, you know?”

Renjun supposed he could understand. The man was like a kind old grandfather; he wore long knit scarves even in warm weather, and brought canteens of coffee for his 8 am classes. The last thing Renjun wanted to do was get him in trouble.

“It’s totally fine,” he spoke finally, grasping the straps to his book bag and offering a forced smile, “Thanks anyways.”

His professor smiled, looking a little guilty. “See you tomorrow Renjun.”

Renjun nodded politely, and fled out the door.

That had been his last hope. What was he going to do now? Renjun’s heart sped up; he was sure he was overreacting, but he couldn’t stop the panic that began to set in.

“Donghyuck,” he breathed as soon as his friend picked up. Renjun was speed walking across campus, making him sound gross and out of breath, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. “None of the professors I asked can be the advisor for my club. I don’t know what to do, I literally don’t have any other ideas.”

“Woah, woah, slow down.” Donghyuck’s voice sounded groggy and confused. Renjun would bet his entire box set of first edition Percy Jackson books that the boy had just slept through his American History class. “Are you  _ sure  _ there are no others that you could ask?”

“ _ Yes,  _ Donghyuck. I’ve thought this through very thoroughly.”

“Okay, okay. Didn’t Jeno say he had some teachers he could ask?”

Renjun fell silent, grasping at something to say. His mind wandered back to their meeting that past Saturday, and how he had adamantly told Jeno that he didn’t need any help finding an advisor. He couldn’t go crawling to Jeno for help, he just  _ couldn’t.  _ That’d be, like, showing weakness or something.

As if reading his mind, Donghyuck said, “You’re being weird. Jeno isn’t your enemy, he’s supposed to help you. Remember?”

“I’m sure I’ll find someone, it’s fine.”

“Renjun, if you don’t go ask him right now, I will. And I’ll be sure to tell him how much of a coward you are.”

“Oh my god,  _ fine. _ ”

Cheers could be heard over the speaker, making the audio crackle and Renjun flinch as he pulled his phone away from his ear. He growled a goodbye to Donghyuck before jamming his thumb against the  _ end call  _ button.

It took a few minutes of vigorous self-reassurance before Renjun was calling another number, and waiting anxiously as it rang.

“Hello?” Jeno’s infuriatingly level-headed voice finally answered. “Renjun?”

“Hi Jeno. Umm, so here’s the thing. All the professors I went to said they’re too busy— to, you know— and umm, I was wondering if—”

“I can still ask some people if you want.”

Renjun let out a lungful of air he hadn’t realized he had been holding. He should’ve known that it would be that easy. Jeno was so nice, it pissed Renjun off.

“Okay. That’d be cool. Thanks.”

Renjun could practically hear Jeno’s smirk over the phone. “Are we still on for tomorrow afternoon at the library?”

“Yup, mhm. Okay. Bye.”

Renjun hung up before Jeno even had a chance to respond. Once his phone was shoved back into his backpack side pocket, he scrubbed a hand down his face and let out a pathetic little sob. Why did he have to be like this? Jeno needed to think he was cool and unbothered, not some loser who couldn’t even uphold a phone conversation.

Whatever. Renjun was sure if he did brain surgery on Jeno, he’d find nothing but fluff in there. He couldn’t have noticed anything weird. Surely.

*

Renjun got a text message from Jeno, not even a few hours later.

**[Jeno -_-]:** hey~ update- we have an advisor!!

**[Me]:** really :o who??

**[Jeno -_-]:** my american history prof!! she’s really cool and loves to read :D you’ll love her

**[Me]:** ok! thanks btw :]

**[Jeno -_-]:** npp see u tomorrow!

Renjun shoved his phone back into his hoodie pocket just as the Starbucks barista called his order. He grabbed his iced coffee from the barista’s outstretched hands, and tried to focus on the freezing condensation trickling off the plastic cup and onto his hands, instead of the uncomfortable itching that seemed to fill the cavity of his chest.

*

One would think that with all of the hundreds of thousands of dollars that their school made on tuition each year, that they’d be able to afford printers that weren’t from the stone age.

The giant monster of a machine made a sad, little sputtering noise yet again into the stuffy silence of the library. Jeno awkwardly snatched the next few flyers from the output tray.

“So,” Renjun spoke, clearing his throat, “You must like reading since you’re, y’know, co-leading a book club, right? Are you a classics person? Because you seem like one.”

Jeno shrugged. “I’ve read a few classics, like  _ 1984  _ and  _ The Grapes of Wrath _ . Not really my thing, though.”

Renjun fucking knew it. History majors, they were so predictable.

“I personally prefer  _ Pride and Prejudice  _ and  _ The Great Gatsby  _ myself.”

“Oh, I’ve never read Gatsby. Been meaning to.”

Renjun reeled on Jeno. “You’ve—  _ what?  _ Never?! Didn’t you have to read it for, like, high school English?”

Jeno grabbed the next few flyers. According to the display screen, they only had ten to go. “To be honest, I sparknoted that unit.”

“I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to be friends now. That is just disrespectful.”

“You know what’s disrespectful? F. Scott Fitzgerald stealing ideas for his books from Zelda’s journals.”

“Touché.”

Jeno added the last ten flyers to his stack, and passed the CVS bag filled with packing tape and push pins to Renjun. “Alright, where should we start?”

“Well, obviously we can hang one at the bulletin board at the writing center, and a few outside by the doors. Should we leave some with the librarian?”

Jeno stared at the woman at the front desk, reading glasses perched on her nose and a copy of  _ Twilight: New Moon  _ propped open on her lap. “Nah, I think we’re fine.”

A comfortable silence hung over the two of them as they slowly made their way across West Campus, taping a couple flyers to every vertical surface they could find. Renjun recalled their conversation earlier, and a question popped into his head.

“You said that classics weren’t really your thing,” Renjun spoke, “What  _ do  _ you like to read?”

Jeno paused to think. “Well, I read a lot of books but I think one of my favorite series is  _ The Hunger Games _ books.”

Renjun hummed thoughtfully. A mainstream choice, but a respectable one. He was more pleasantly surprised than anything because Jeno didn’t seem like the YA type  _ at all. _

“You didn’t seem like the YA type at all.”

Jeno laughed, bright and clear but not too loud. “Guess you don’t know me too well yet.”

“Guess I don’t.” Renjun forced out a laugh. It was a little alarming to think that Jeno was a complex human being with thoughts and feelings and not some figment of his imagination that he invented to be the perfect arch-nemesis. “So, Team Peeta or Team Gale?”

Jeno scoffed. “Personally, I’m Team Neither. I think the whole love triangle was entirely unnecessary and took away from the true message of the books.”

“Okay, Socrates. Just pick one.”

“Fine, Team Peeta. Gale is a dick.”

Renjun finished attaching a flyer to the Admissions Office bulletin board before turning to Jeno with an exaggerated expression of turmoil. “Unfortunately, I’ll have to agree with you.”

“Unfortunately?”

“Yeah. I feel like I’m betraying my husband Liam Hemsworth.”

Jeno laughed, louder than Renjun had ever heard it. Renjun’s chest felt a little warm. He wouldn’t consider himself the funniest person— his older sister even kindly referred to him once as “the very antithesis of humor”— but he had made Jeno laugh. Hard. He had done that, and it felt good.

Jeno’s laughter died down, but a bright smile remained on his face. “I’m honestly more of a Chris Hemsworth man myself, but I get it.”

Renjun stopped in his tracks. Had he heard him right?

Jeno walked a couple steps before noticing that Renjun had stopped. “What?” he asked, expression never dimming.

“Ahh, nothing,” Renjun stammered. Honestly, he had no idea why he had stopped. “Just— didn’t know Chris Hemsworth was your type.”

“What, built dudes?”

“Umm, yeah sure.” How was he supposed to explain to Jeno that he had thought he was straight this whole time?

“Honestly, I’m normally more of a Timothee Chalamet kind of guy, but I’ve had a crush on Chris ever since I first saw Thor in the Avengers when I was 12.”

“Oh. Cool.” Renjun’s head was reeling. Soon smoke would start coming out of his ears.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

Jeno gestured with his hand. “Your type.”

“Oh.” Heat spread across Renjun’s face and down his neck. He almost ran into a girl passing them on the path. “I like, uhh— Chris Evans.”

After another hour, there wasn’t a spot on Campus where you couldn’t spot at least one book club flyer if you spun around 360 degrees. Renjun, in the process, learned that Jeno’s favorite period of history was Ancient Greece because of his middle school obsession with Percy Jackson (holy shit Renjun couldn’t fall in love), and his Hogwarts house was Hufflepuff. Upon learning that Renjun’s house was Ravenclaw, Jeno had  _ laughed _ , much to Renjun’s indignance.

“Makes sense,” was all that he had said, whatever that meant.

*

They didn’t have the time to meet up for another week, but they kept in contact over text. Their goal was to recruit as many new members as they could in this time apart, so that they could finally—  _ finally _ — plan their first meeting.

It was 1 am, and Renjun was making a 7-11 run. He was standing in the chip aisle, pondering whether sour cream and onion chips were a better studying snack than kettle-cooked potato chips (a classic, if not a little greasy) when Jeno texted him. Renjun pulled his phone from his jacket pocket the minute the notification chime came through.

**[Jeno -_-]:** i started gatsby btw. i’m taking notes :D

**[Me]:** notes?? Wow

**[Jeno-_-]:** yup! wanted to make sure i’d have plenty to discuss w u lol

Renjun probably looked like an idiot, standing smack dead in the middle of the aisle, smiling giddily at his phone. Hey, when a boy texts you that he’s reading one of your book suggestions, the reaction is only natural.

**[Me]:** looking forward to it :]

**[Me]:** are u reading it rn?

**[Jeno-_-]:** actually studying for a test in my hist of modern china course

**[Me]:** i would help u but,,, despite being chinese my knowledge of its history is depressingly lacking

**[Jeno -_-]:** thats the american school system for u haha

Renjun glanced around the store. It was, as expected at this time of night, completely empty except for Renjun and the sleep deprived college student running the cash register. Renjun slid down so that he was perched on his heels, not quite touching the grimy floor but still more comfortable than standing.

**[Me]:** so, notes aside what do u think of gatsby so far

**[Jeno -_-]:** i think gatsby and his friend are in love or sth

**[Jeno -_-]:** this nick dude,, he’s kinda sus

**[Me]:** you did not just fucking say nick carraway is “kinda sus”

**[Jeno -_-]:** ;P

**[Me]:** ...youre right but that doesnt mean i have to like it

**[Jeno -_-]:** LMAO anyways,, i got a few new people for the book club!!

**[Me]:** really??

**[Jeno -_-]:** yeah!! one of them is my roommate jaemin, i think you’ll like him!

Renjun’s stomach stirred with anxiety at the thought of meeting a friend of Jeno’s. At least Donghyuck was a mutual friend. That was easy to manage.

Renjun wasn’t sure why, but he  _ really  _ didn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of Jaemin.

Footsteps echoed in the next aisle over and Renjun sprang to his feet. Renjun glanced over the shelves at the middle aged man scouring the energy drinks and hoped that he hadn’t seen him crouching on the floor like a creep. He pocketed his unused wallet and slipped out of the store while the cashier girl wasn’t looking.

**[Jeno -_-]:** what are you up to, since you’re awake as late as me??

**[Me]:** was getting snacks at the 7-11. walking home now

**[Jeno -_-]:** walking home alone at this hour?? be careful! >_<

**[Me]:** lmao what is that face

**[Jeno -_-]:** renjunn pay attention and be safe >:[

*

As midterms approached ominously on the horizon, the minimal amount that Renjun spotted Donghyuck at their dorm was decreased to almost nothing. The boy was like a 19-year-old, considerably less hairy bigfoot, only showing his face at 2 am, when he came crawling back from the library and into bed.

Thus, the only way Renjun would be able to spend quality time with him was if he promised to study with him. That is how he found himself in the library, on one of the last sunny, fair-weathered Saturdays of the year, staring at a Robert Frost biography with contempt.

“This man is overrated,” Renjun groaned, faceplanting into the book, “‘The Road Not Taken’ fucking sucks.”

“Watch out,” Donghyuck mumbled, not looking up from his color-coded notes, “There might be an angry poetry advocate hiding around the corner.”

Renjun rolled his eyes and pushed the book away from him like a petulant child. “How do you even have so much to study?”

“You’d be surprised.” Donghyuck bit his lip, before scribbling something in the margins of his notebook. “This microeconomics class is really keeping me busy.”

Renjun sighed and stood up from his chair. He could not focus for the life of him, but he really did want to spend time with Donghyuck, so he walked a quick lap around the medium quiet floor of the library before coming back. Donghyuck was still focused on microeconomics textbook.

“So, how’s the club going?” Renjun jumped, not expecting Donghyuck to speak up.

“It’s going alright,” he sighed, “We’ve got an advisor and a handful of people who’ve agreed to be members, so we’ll probably have our first meeting soon.”

“That’s cool! How are things with Jeno?”

Renjun rolled his eyes. “Did you know he’s never read  _ The Great Gatsby  _ before? He’s reading it right now. I’ll probably make him do a book report on it.”

“Not what I was asking but—” Donghyuck wheezed out a laugh— “That’s hilarious. Guess you’re finally getting along with him.”

Renjun scoffed. “No way. I’m still not sure if I can trust him. He’s getting his friend Jaemin to join the club— what if they just gang up on me and sabotage the first meeting?”

“Jaemin is literally so sweet. He’s a  _ pre-vet student  _ for god’s sake. You’re just being ridiculous.”

“Why did I become friends with you so quickly, huh?” Renjun grumbled. “All you do is betray me.”

“All you do is pretend like you don’t have a big fat gay crush on Jeno, and to be honest, it’s exhausting.”

“I do not! How  _ dare you _ !”

Donghyuck only cackled in response, before returning back to his notes. Renjun spent a few minutes brooding over the  _ absolute audacity  _ of his best friend before he, too, finally returned back to the stupid Robert Frost book that was supposed to help him write his paper.

Renjun ended up getting a lot done. The presence of another person was unpredictably a powerful motivator, and by the time that colors began to streak across the sky, Renjun had finished the outline for his Robert Frost paper. Ugh.

He finally managed to pull Donghyuck away from his studies when the other boy’s head began drooping so violently that he almost cracked it open on the corner of the table. Donghyuck, while stubborn at first, finally relented.

“You need to be taking better care of yourself,” Renjun fussed as they trekked back to their dorm room. “I know that you’re a really hard worker, but don’t burn yourself out.”

Donghyuck smiled at him sleepily, “I won’t, don’t worry.”

They got home, and Renjun scanned the crates of books he had shoved into the corner. He had just finished  _ The Song of Achilles  _ last night, and needed a new book to start. Maybe he’d reread something, let his emotions recover a little.

His eyes fell on his well-loved paperback copy of  _ The Hunger Games.  _ Without much pondering, he grabbed it from the crate and curled himself up on his bed. The first scene opened up in Katniss’ home in District 12, and Renjun could already feel himself getting lost in the world of an old favorite.

*

Renjun was standing at the back of the boba shop, and he was in the midst of a crisis.

About a dozen people passed him, pointing towards the cash register as if to ask,  _ are you in line?  _ Renjun would shake his head, and they would pass him.

It had been two weeks since he had seen Jeno. They were right in the throes of midterms, meaning that he and all his friends were in full study-lockdown mode. If he didn’t literally live with Donghyuck, Renjun could have been convinced that his friend disappeared off the face of the earth altogether.

Jeno was a different story. He didn’t live with Jeno, so he didn’t really have an excuse to see him. It was strange and vaguely uncomfortable.

Renjun  _ did not  _ miss him. No, that’d be even weirder. He just— had gotten used to seeing Jeno all the time.

Which brought him back to his current crisis.

He didn’t know what Jeno’s favorite flavor of boba was. He didn’t know if Jeno even  _ liked  _ boba at all.

Actually, no. What crazy person doesn’t like boba?

Renjun would play it safe and get him taro milk tea. He’d get Donghyuck’s favorite Mango flavor, and his own Lychee tea. Easy. At long last, he finally moved forward into the line and placed his order.

Would Jeno think he was weird for knowing where he lived. Renjun would just have to tell him he got it from Donghyuck, which he did, but not until his friend had teased him a fair amount about it.

He focused all of his nervous energy on fishing out the boba pearls with his straw. Would Jeno’s dorm be messy or clean. Renjun had never seen it before. It was probably messy, and probably smelled like sweat. Jeno was on the lacrosse team, and his roommate Jaemin was apparently on the soccer team.

Oh my god, would he meet Jaemin?! Renjun gnashed on his boba pearls even harder.

Jeno lived on the other side of campus, which gave Renjun plenty of time to worry. It still seemed all too short of a journey because before he knew it, he was standing in front of Jeno’s door, hand poised to knock.

He should knock soon. He had already been there for a good minute, and any longer someone might become suspicious of this weirdo just standing outside a dorm room. Jeno might open the door and find Renjun just waiting there, then he’d be creeped out and back out of the book club.

Then Renjun would have to find someone else to help him run it. He couldn’t trust another stranger to do it, and Donghyuck was much too busy. 

Renjun shook his head and knocked on the door.

There was some rustling within, a couple of hushed voices, and then the door was being unlocked and pulled open.

An unfamiliar boy was standing in the doorway. He had cool blue hair, a blinding smile, and was at least half a head taller than Renjun. Renjun’s defenses immediately went into DEFCON-1.

“Umm— is Jeno here?” he stammered out, “I, ahh, brought him this.” Renjun held up the travel tray of boba cups pathetically. 

The boy grinned. “Jeno!” he called behind him into the room, “Your little boyfriend’s here!”

There was a chuckle from within the room before Jeno appeared behind the boy. Renjun’s face was beet-red and he was ready to say something in protest, but Jeno looked positively unbothered.

“You’ve finally met my roommate Jaemin,” Jeno spoke as the blue-haired boy disappeared back into the room.

“You lied,” Renjun muttered, “I don’t think I like him very much.”

Jeno laughed again. “Ahh, don’t worry, you’ll grow to love him. He just loves to tease.”

Renjun highly doubted that, but he decided not to say anything and shoved Jeno’s boba into his hands instead. Jeno smiled down at the beverage like it was the cure for cancer.

“You got me boba? And it’s taro, how did you know that was my favorite!”

Renjun shrugged, making intense eye contact with the carpet at their feet. “Midterms sucks the life out of all of us, and as annoying as you are, I’d rather not go looking for someone to replace you in the book club should you drop dead from midterm stress.”

Jeno’s eyes sparkled. “Sure, that’s valid.”

“Well, I have to get back to studying. See you around.”

“Yeah. Thanks for the drink!”

“No— umm, no problem. Bye.”

“Bye.” Jeno waved, still smiling, and slowly shut the door. Renjun stood there, staring at the swirls in the wood of the door as his brain booted back up. He had not expected today to be so mentally taxing, yet here he was.

When he returned to his dorm room, he found Donghyuck exactly as he had left him, looking an inch away from passing out and hunched over his textbooks.

“What took you so long?” Donghyuck asked, barely looking away from his books as Renjun handed him his boba.

“Was bringing boba to Jeno.” Renjun spoke quickly, knowing that he couldn’t lie to Donghyuck but not wanting to dwell on it.

That seemed to be enough to drag Donghyuck’s eyes up for longer than a few seconds, and put an evil grin on his face. “Ahh, so that’s what you needed his dorm for.”

Renjun huffed and threw himself onto his bed face down. “Yes, now get back to studying. I like it better when you don’t speak.”

*

Midterms finally ended, and Renjun began seeing Jeno even more than before. Now that exams were off their plate, they had to begin planning their first book club meeting.

The first meeting would just be for deciding on their reading list for the next few months, is what they decided on at the cafe where Donghyuck had first introduced them. Jeno calmly sipped his iced coffee and jotted down the avalanche of book ideas that Renjun offered up, occasionally chiming in with his own. While Jeno’s reading repertoire wasn’t quite as lengthy as Renjun’s, it was still substantial and Renjun was rather impressed with some of his suggestions.

They reserved one of the meeting rooms at the library, the cozy one with the beanbags and bookshelves of encyclopedias, for a Sunday afternoon in November. Renjun was practically vibrating with nervous excitement the whole day. He had done this— with the help of Donghyuck and Jeno, he had started his own college club, and it was finally happening.

Renjun sent texts all day to Jeno, running through everything they needed to be ready for the meeting. Jeno was patient, telling him to relax and that everything would be fine, and Renjun tried his best to not overthink things.

It’s just a casual book club, he reminded himself. Just a casual group that meets once a month to discuss books. He’d done enough to prepare.

Renjun finally met up with Jeno at 2 pm, an hour before the meeting was set to start. 

“So again, how many people are we expecting to come?”

“About ten, give or take.”

Renjun nodded. “We have enough chairs then, plus a couple extra just in case. You double checked that this is the room we booked, right?”

“Triple checked.”

Renjun had run out of pestering questions to ask so he sank, exhausted, into a giant green beanbag chair. Jeno walked over and plopped into the yellow one beside him, letting his eyes fall shut. “You can relax now,” he told Renjun, “everything’s all set. Take a breather.”

Renjun sighed. “Thanks for putting up with me. I know I can be a stress case sometimes, but this is really important to me.”

“Don’t worry, I understand. And I’d put up with your wild energy anytime.” Even though his eyes were closed, a familiar teasing grin grew across Jeno’s face. Warm butterflies filled Renjun’s stomach.

They spent the remainder of the hour chatting. The first person wandered in, a tiny girl with space buns from Jeno’s cultural anthropology elective, just as the clock on the wall struck three.

More people began trickling in painfully slow. Jeno attempted to make conversation with them while Renjun, riddled with nerves, just paced at one end of the meeting room.

At 3:07, only six people had showed. It would be fine for this meeting, because with him and Jeno there were the necessary eight people needed for a club, but it was still smaller than expected. Jaemin came rushing in a minute later, making a total of nine.

“Alright, I guess we can start,” Renjun spoke, voice shaking. “First of all, thanks to all of you for coming, we’re very happy to have you. I’m Renjun, and I started this club along with Jeno.” He gestured to Jeno, and Jeno gave a small smile and a wave.

They went around in a circle and introduced themselves. The energy was a bit low and awkward, but Jaemin and the space bun girl, whose name Renjun learned was Katie, did their best to look cheerful and involved.

As the meeting went on, Renjun struggled to maintain a calm and collected façade. Public speaking was never his forte— his hands would shake, and his voice would tremor— but having to run an entire meeting with a group of bored looking people was on a whole other planet of pain. He’d throw glances to Jeno every now and then, desperate, and Jeno would only nod encouragingly back. Renjun wanted to scream at him,  _ help me out here, you idiot! _

By the time the meeting was over, they’d settled on  _ The Sun Down Motel  _ to read for their next meeting, and Renjun concluded the meeting with little fanfare. People trickled out one by one, looking thankful that they could finally go home.

Katie was the last one to leave, right after Jaemin. “The meeting was great,” she stated from the doorway. Her voice was overly chipper, as if reassuring him. “I can’t wait for the next one. The book looks really good!”

Once Katie was gone, Renjun could feel the last dregs of adrenaline rush from his body. It was just him and Jeno now. The room was silent as Renjun gathered his book bag and shoved the papers from their meeting inside.

“Well,” Jeno broke the silence, “That went… well.”

“No need to sugarcoat it,” Renjun mumbled, “It sucked.”

“That’s not fair. All clubs start off a little slow. I’m sure the energy at the next meeting will be much better, now that everyone knows each other and we’ll have a book to discuss.”

“I think they all hate me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Renjun.”

Renjun combed a hand aggressively through his hair. “I just don’t know what I did wrong. I’ve been running this through for— for  _ weeks _ —”

“Renjun—”

“Why’d you just sit there, huh?! I was— I was struggling up there, and what did you do?”

Jeno’s expression grew from confused to frustrated. A sick feeling began to develop in Renjun’s gut, because this happens all the time, he pushes people to their limits and it always hurts him the most when they ultimately snap, yet he keeps on doing it.

“I didn’t say anything, Renjun, because I thought you had it under control. No, you  _ did  _ have it under control, and now you’re just overreacting!”

“You weren’t the one standing up there in front of them, so you don’t get to say that!” Renjun was breathing heavily now, probably looking like a bull about to charge and a deer in headlights all at the same time. He twisted the strap of his book bag over and over in one fist. “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you with this.”

The room went dead silent. Jeno looked like he had been slapped in the face. Renjun wanted to scream that he hadn’t meant it but his pride kept his lips shut tight.

“Well,” Jeno began coolly, “If you still believe that I can’t be trusted, then I’m sorry. You can run the club by yourself if you’d like.” And with that, Jeno left.

Renjun stared at the doorway for who knew how long. He was scared to move, as if moving would break him out of his state of shock and release all of his pent up emotions. Yet he knew it was inevitable, and he didn’t want to begin crying in public, so he moved robotically out of the library and across campus to his dorm.

He was thankful that there weren’t that many people out at the moment because as soon as he stepped outside the tears began to fall.

Donghyuck was waiting at their dorm when he returned, curled up in a snuggie in front of his computer, in the middle of an intense round of CS:GO. “How was the meeting?” He called over his shoulder jovially, not looking away from his game.

Renjun flopped onto his bed with his shoes on, facing the ceiling and letting out a large sob. “Terribly.”

Donghyuck looked away from his game, alarmed. The action caused his game character to get killed, but he didn’t pay it any mind, already out of his seat and moving towards Renjun’s bed.

“What happened?” he asked gently, wrapping Renjun in a warm snuggie hug. It felt amazing, and admittedly it did help Renjun calm down significantly.

“Only seven people showed up, including Jaemin. Jeno didn’t really say much and I had to run the whole meeting, and I was so anxious and everyone looked bored, and then I had to go act like a  _ big jerk  _ to Jeno and now he hates me—”

“Woah, woah. Slow down there, buddy.” Donghyuck ran slow fingers through Renjun’s hair, and Renjun practically melted. “Why do you think Jeno hates you? What did you say to him?”

“I really didn’t mean it, really! He told me I was overreacting about the meeting and then I said I never should have trusted him and he got sad and left.”

Donghyuck hummed, and was quiet for a moment as he continued to comb through Renjun’s hair. Renjun was so thoroughly exhausted that his eyes began to droop from the easy ministrations. “You want to know what I think?” Donghyuck murmured.

“What?”

“I think that you both spoke a little carelessly in the heat of the moment, and that neither one of your is in the wrong. Jeno might’ve phrased it a little harshly when he said that you were overreacting, but I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way. I know how you can get when you’re anxious. You can blow things a little out of proportion, and that’s okay.”

Renjun buried his face deeper into Donghyuck’s snuggie. “Really?”

“Really. And I know you didn’t mean what you said about Jeno. You might’ve meant it a few weeks ago when you first met him. You are careful about who you trust. He knows that, and it’s completely fine. But I’ve seen how you’ve been with him these past few weeks. He’s important to you, or you wouldn’t be reacting the way that you are.”

Donghyuck, as much as Renjun hated it, was right. Jeno had wormed his way into Renjun’s heart against his will, and now he was here for good. It was scary as hell, letting in someone new, but Renjun couldn’t stand the thought of not having Jeno to lean on.

“But I still fucked things up, whether I meant it or not. And he still hates me.”

“That’s not true either. He’s definitely probably a little hurt, and you should definitely offer an apology, but he does not hate you. Jeno really cares about you, Renjun, probably more than you realize. I don’t think a little thing like a few misplaced words can ruin that.”

Donghyuck’s words carried an unspoken weight to them, as if another meaning was concealed beneath. It made Renjun shiver.

“Now,” Donghyuck continued, “Let’s make a plan. Right now, we’ll get some rest. Then as soon as you’re ready, you can talk to Jeno and you two can kiss and make up.” Renjun blushed deeply at Donghyuck’s phrasing, shoving his side lightly, but Donghyuck didn’t pay him any notice. “After that, we can all come up with a plan to make your next meeting even better, alright?”

Renjun nodded, chest feeling light. Donghyuck was absolutely dreadful at taking care of himself sometimes, but he gave some of the best advice to others.

“I feel like you’re my mom, and I’m a dramatic six-year-old learning how to navigate social situations.” Renjun snorted at his words and Donghyuck threw his head back into a full cackle.

“Sometimes, there are things that we need to relearn, and that’s okay.”

That was something Renjun needed to paste to the inside of his mind. Sometimes he’ll mess up, sometimes things won’t go perfectly right, and that’s okay.

*

For the first few days after their fight— if it could even be called that— Renjun tried texting Jeno to see if they could meet up and talk. Jeno sometimes responded saying he was busy with one thing or another, but mostly he just didn’t respond at all. Renjun finally got sick of it, and on the chilliest morning they’d had so far that year, he marched himself over to Jeno’s dorm in nothing but a t-shirt and sweats.

He felt like a total idiot by the time he finally got there, because of course he was shivering like a leaf and his fingers largely gone numb. Renjun probably looked pathetic as he knocked on the door, and waited, shivering for an answer.

Jaemin, once again, was the one to open the door. Upon first sight of Renjun, Jaemin placed both hands on either side of his head and let out a loud groan. Renjun jumped in surprise.

“Thank fuck you’re here,” Jaemin spoke, already grabbing his jacket and a set of dorm keys, “Someone needed to take a little initiative. Jeno, I’ll be back in an hour, okay? Work this out,  _ please. _ ”

Jeno peaked out from behind Jaemin just as his roommate exited the dorm. Renjun’s heart sped up a little, both with nerves and a little of something else, at the sight of Jeno for the first time in days. He looked no worse for wear, if not a little tired, buried in the depths of an oversized hoodie. He looked cute, Renjun concluded eloquently.

He thought Jeno was cute. What the fuck.

That was a revelation that he’d stew over later. Right now, he had another task at hand.

“Can we, uhh, talk?” Renjun asked just as another shiver coursed through his body.

Jeno glanced down at his bare arms and thin sweatpants. “Just a sec,” he said. Jeno disappeared into his room and came back a moment later with a bundle of fabric. “Wear this so you don’t die of hypothermia.”

Renjun tried to force out a laugh, but it more resembled his childhood cat Jane (yes, after his writing idol, Jane Austen) choking on dry food. “Thanks” he stuttered out, and slipped the hoodie on over his head.

The hoodie was huge on him— probably oversized on Jeno, so  _ very  _ oversized on him— and smelled like Jeno. Renjun felt like he was drowning, but in the best way.

Together, they began to walk. It was silent for a while, as their feet carried them outside (Renjun was much warmer this time) and across campus to the library.

They were met with a rush of heat as they stepped inside. Neither of them said a word as they winded through the levels of the library until they finally reached a secluded nook on the medium quiet floor, the same one that had been their go-to spot for book club planning.

“I’m sorry,” was the first thing out of Renjun’s mouth as soon as they were seated on one of the squashy couches. He pulled at the sleeves of Jeno’s hoodie where they fell over his hands. He struggled to make eye contact; he had always been fatally bad at important discussions like these, especially when it involved him apologizing. “I really didn’t mean what I said to you. I trust you a lot, and it’s a little scary for me. I’m not great at the whole trusting people thing, but I’m sure you’ve noticed that.”

Jeno huffed a soft laugh, and the sound filled every corner of Renjun’s heart with light. “I’m sorry too,” Jeno spoke, “for saying that you were overreacting, and for not helping out more.”

“No, it’s my fault—”

“It isn’t, Renjun. I had no idea how uncomfortable running those kinds of things made you, and I’m sorry.”

“So you don’t hate me?”

“Not at all. I’d love to continue being a member of the book club, if you’ll have me?”

Renjun giggled and grabbed one of Jeno’s hands with his sweater paws. Even through the fabric of the hoodie, he could feel Jeno’s warmth. “I wouldn’t be able to do it without you.”

Jeno didn’t respond. Renjun followed his eyes to where he was clasping Jeno’s hand in between his and— oh.

Renjun dropped his hand like it was hot coals. “I’m sorry.”

Jeno looked up, alarmed. “No, no! I— I liked it.”

Renjun blinked. “Huh?”

“Renjun, I really like you. Like, as more than friends.” Jeno wiped his hands on his pants. “I’m sorry, that was probably so out of the blue.”

“I like you too!”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Renjun glanced up at Jeno, wearing a nervous smile. “I realized how much I cared about you after you left the other night. It was really scary. Donghyuck had to mom-advice some sense into me.”

Jeno laughed. He looked at Renjun like he was the whole world, and for once, Renjun looked back. 

*

Their next meeting arrives a month later.

The week leading up to it, Renjun was busy buying snacks (to up the enjoyment and to ensure return) and quizzing Jeno on the book to make sure he actually read it. He was proud to say that thus far, his boyfriend was passing with flying colors.

Donghyuck came with Renjun and Jeno to help set up the snacks. He had told Renjun that he was cutting back on some of his extracurriculars and was even taking some easier classes next semester so that he could spend more time on himself, and with his friends. He also told Renjun that he needed to join the book club just to help out with the snack table because apparently “he possessed all the creative energy here” and “he couldn’t trust either him or Jeno to make the food look appealing”.

Renjun highly considered ulterior motives when he spotted Donghyuck shoved a chocolate-covered donette into his mouth when he thought no one was looking.

Thanks to the power of his three much more extroverted friends and the advertising power of his new friend Katie (who apparently was a marketing major, who knew?), they were able to double the turnout from their last meeting. By the time the clock hit 3:05, there were thirteen people milling around the room, munching on snacks and chatting with other book club members.

Various copies of  _ The Sun Down Motel  _ were strewn across the meeting room table, some with brightly colored sticky notes emerging from the pages. Donghyuck was across the room, already getting acquainted with Yukhei— a pre-vet friend of Jaemin’s— over the love triangle in the  _ Twilight  _ saga. It was such a familiar sight, Renjun couldn’t help but laugh.

He was so focused on taking in everything that he didn’t even notice Jeno creeping up on him. His boyfriend planted a kiss on the top of his head, and Renjun squeaked in surprise.

“Looking much better this time around, don’t you think?” Jeno murmured so that only Renjun could hear. 

Renjun hummed in agreement. “We did it. This book club is ten times better than the one I ran in high school.”

“Oh yeah?” Jeno snorted. “Well you’ll have to tell me more about that, after the meeting.”

“Sure thing,” Renjun laughed, and without any more delay stepped forward to set their second official meeting into session.


End file.
